How To Look Confident

Stop Fidgeting 

Most people suffering from low self-esteem have a tell. Almost universally, the tell-tale sign of a person who isn’t comfortable in their surroundings or maybe even in their skin is someone who squirms unceasingly. 

Many of us may not realize how squirmy we get, but this portrays a lack of self-assurance. Anxiety and nervousness cause our muscles to be tense because our bodies are preparing for some (often imaginary) danger we’ll have to defend ourselves from. 

With our muscles in flex like this for extended periods of worry, the muscles can contract and tremor, which is what causes us to shake or tap our toes. Some of us maniacally gesticulate with our hands as the nerves grow more intense. 

In addition, you may find yourself constantly shifting your weight or nodding your head. Instead, maintain a fixed stance and only make movements when necessary. 

This may not be easy if you aren’t aware of your fidgeting tendencies. Perhaps, try talking to a friend or family member and see if they can pick out any odd habits or oddities in your movement that you might not be aware of.

Correct Your Posture

Poor posture screams of insecurity. When you stand with your shoulders rounded or hunched, you don’t exactly give off an air of self-assurance. 

Instead, stand up tall, hold your head proudly, and pull your shoulders back to prevent your body from slouching so that your chest protrudes ever-so-slightly. 

In addition to the obvious health benefits (such as improved breathing and spinal support), this will also boost your self-esteem by improving your appearance.

Remember To Speak Clearly

When you talk too fast or in a soft voice, you send the message that you lack confidence. It also makes you more likely to ramble on or say something silly accidentally. The best way to avoid these issues is to speak more slowly and carefully. 

Don’t rush when forming sentences; doing so will allow you to think of more appropriate words and convey the impression that you have a high level of self-assurance. It would be best if you practice speaking out loud and enunciating each word clearly so that you master it.

Practice Making Direct Eye Contact

Without making eye contact, you may come across as distracted or uninterested, which is counterproductive when trying to convey an air of confidence. 

Maintain eye contact with the person you’re speaking to, or switch your attention frequently if several individuals are in the room. Eye contact with different audience members is essential, even in a large group.

However, it’s possible to come off as creepy if you stare someone down too much. Find a middle ground that works for everyone. The 80/20 rule is a helpful guideline to follow. Aim to look the other person in the eye for 80% of the time you’re talking, and feel free to look away for the remaining 20%.

Be Mindful Of Your Hands

One of the most effective ways to convey confidence is by positioning your hands. People around you will pick up on your tense or awkward energy if you fold your arms, wring your hands, or put them in your pockets. 

Try the hand steeple if you find yourself at a loss for where to put your hands while conversing or listening. Create a steeple shape by bringing the very ends of your fingers together. This is a great way to show confidence when making a presentation or listening attentively to someone else.

Mirror Others’ Body Language 

Our brains have a network of cells called mirror neurons. We stimulate these neurons in social situations where we perform an activity with another person and can observe them simultaneously. 

These neurons are crucial for human connection and can function through digital channels like social media, which rely heavily on visual cues. You can use this principle to enhance your ability to communicate and discover the key to projecting confidence.

Try to “mirror” the person you’re talking to: mimic their movements and vocal tones and even use some of the same terms they do to connect with them. It’s tricky and nuanced, but if you master it, it may help you connect with others and persuade them to see things your way.

Don’t Be Afraid Of Silence

The “uncomfortable silence” is often criticized as a sign of a poor conversation, but it serves an essential social function. You can use pauses effectively by ending sentences to emphasize their weight. 

Allowing silence between the other person’s statement and your own is an excellent way to demonstrate attentive listening. Silences are not only reflective of thoughtful deliberation but also confidence in one’s communication skills.

Put Your Best Foot Forward In Appearance And Attitude

When making a first impression, whether at a job interview or on a date, it is well worth your time and energy to take care of your hygiene, your wardrobe, and your health. 

First impressions are often based on how well one looks, no matter how politically incorrect that may be. 

Looking your best gives you an edge and makes people more open to what you say. So, at first glance, you’ll provide an air of confidence.

Here’s a great video by personal development and dating coach Courtney Ryan where she covers a few body language do’s and don’ts for men to look more confident: